Hurricane Control - Interview with Hurricane Richard, Slayer of Hurricanes

June 14th, 2004, 10:00PM, Santa Barbara, California

Reporter: So, "Hurricane Richard" You claim to be able to affect hurricanes. That's a pretty large claim. What exactly do you claim to be able to accomplish?  

Hurricane Richard: Well, first off Tomas, thank you for conducting this interview and giving me a platform and opportunity to explain and prove my claim that I can kill a hurricane or typhoon. Let me start by saying what I don’t do, and that is control a hurricane. I simply keep a hurricane from going out of control. To put it another way, and there are many ways to express it, I simply take the life force out of the hurricane and it dies.  

Reporter: That's a pretty spectacular claim. Does it take a great deal of energy to kill or disrupt a hurricane? 

Hurricane Richard: Not really. I see, or know, that a hurricane is made up of a weak force that gains momentum. This is evident in the fact that hurricanes do not start out at 160 knots, they build up slowly. This founding force, though not very strong, is quite vast and subject to influences of a psychic sort. Its these other forces that mold and push a hurricane to its full strength.

Take these forces away and the hurricane dies. or at the least plods along at about 60 to 70 knots . Taking these forces away is easy as far as effort goes, I can do it from right here on the sofa. It’s knowing how to do it, that’s the trick. 

Reporter: Can anyone do this? 

Hurricane Richard: Only if they know how and can see a hurricane for what it is. 

Reporter: What do you mean: “See a hurricane for what it is?” 

Hurricane Richard: Understand what it is that is driving the hurricane into such a destructive level. I’m sure you experienced the boogie man growing up. It’s that destructive energy all around us that, as a child you were still sensitive enough to personify into the
 

Before You Scoff... (Update 2005)

This interview was done before the 2004 Hurricane Season. We would like to point that under Richard's protection, no hurricanes struck Baja that season.

Richard's powers were called upon in mid-September when Hurricane Javier threatened. We had asked him to interceed when the storm formed so close to us. Richard claims to be responsible for keeping Javier well off-shore in the Pacific as the storm crept slowly north. Finally, after 6 days and exhausted by his efforts, he let the weakened storm loose, where in it immediately turn east and came ashore near San Ignacio. The storm was so drained from it's battle with Richard that is was merely a tropical storm.

In a follow up conversation, Richard was somewhat daunted by failed efforts to control Atlantic hurricanes. 2004 proved a bad season for the Caribbean and and US South East. Western Pacific hurricanes also seemed to ignore Rich's efforts. "Perhaps these distant storms are different." Rich said. "They seem to speak a different, for lack of a better word, language."

I suggested to Richard that his power to combat these storms may have a limited range. Maybe it would be a good idea to have Hurricane Richard as close to Baja Sur as possible as we enter the 2005 Eastern Pacific Hurricane Season!
 

boogie man. That energy is the driving force behind a hurricane is....billions and billions of boogie men raising hell, literally. That energy represents the most extreme end of physical negativity on the planet and they organize around a hurricane and whip it into ferocity. If one “boogie man” slammed into you at 60 mph you would not feel a thing... if 1000 boogie men hit you, you would feel a push and some wind. Multiply by a zillion and add nature and you got a hurricane.  

Reporter: So what is it you do, counter act these forces? 

Hurricane Richard: Think of it like this... when water goes down a drain it swirls at certain speed. The laws of physics, you know. If you add your finger to help swirl faster it will... not naturally, but it swirls faster. I believe a hurricane is not “natural” past 73 mph sustained winds (tropical storm level) on open ocean. I scatter the chaotic forces building the storm back into darkness and the hurricane simply goes away. If I tell you much more than that we’ll have unauthorized hurricane destroyer’s popping up all over! 

It’s hardly any effort, only time about 20 minutes to set up to kill hurricane. About the same time as it takes to drink a cold ballena. 

Reporter: When did you slay your last hurricane? 

Hurricane Richard: Funny you should ask cause I’m working on a big one right now, typhoon Dianmu off the coast of Guam. Its supposed to get to 165 knots in a few days. Today is Monday, June 14^th and I started working on this guy about 8:30 PDT. You should see a drop in as little as 18 to 34 hours and a certain decline in 36 hrs. 

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Insider's Notebook: What defines a hurricane?

The terms "hurricane" and "typhoon" are regionally specific names for a strong "tropical cyclone". A tropical cyclone is the generic term for a non-frontal synoptic scale low-pressure system over tropical or sub-tropical waters with organized convection (i.e. thunderstorm activity) and definite cyclonic surface wind circulation (Holland 1993).

Tropical cyclones with maximum sustained surface winds of less than 17 m/s (34 kt, 39 mph) are called "tropical depressions". (This is not to be confused with the condition mid-latitude people get during a long, cold and grey winter wishing they could be closer to the equator ;-)) Once the tropical cyclone reaches winds of at least 17 m/s they are typically called a "tropical storm" and assigned a name. If winds reach 33 m/s (64 kt, 74 mph)), then they are called: a "hurricane" (the North Atlantic Ocean, the Northeast Pacific Ocean east of the dateline, or the South Pacific Ocean east of 160E); a "typhoon" (the Northwest Pacific Ocean west of the dateline); a "severe tropical cyclone" (the Southwest Pacific Ocean west of 160E or Southeast Indian Ocean east of 90E); a "severe cyclonic storm" (the North Indian Ocean); and a "tropical cyclone" (the Southwest Indian Ocean) (Neumann 1993).